SERIES:  Turning The Page

TURNING THE PAGE: Forgiveness

Icebreaker

Does your family unwrap gifts one at a time or everyone all at once?

Recap

The most devastating truth about 2020 is the fact that we’ve given in to divisiveness. Never before in our history have we been so far apart from the people in our lives on so many issues. The mindset of our culture gives us permission to cling to our resentment, broken relationships, and unresolved conflicts, but the Word of God gives us a higher standard. God wants us to forgive, even as we have been forgiven. 

Scripture Reference

Matthew 18; Hebrews 12:15

Focus Questions

  1. Why should you forgive someone who hurt you? What is your initial reaction to the whole idea that forgiveness is a necessity God commands us to? (e.g. anger, frustration, judgement) Do you react differently depending on the ‘level of hurt’ that you felt?
  2. Are there any relationships in your life where you feel a gap or division in your relationship? If so, do you know why this division exists, or are you puzzled by this distance?  
  3. Two steps of forgiveness were discussed in this week’s sermon: begin to pray for your offender and forgive as you have been forgiven. Who do you need to forgive? What makes you pause before doing so? Why do we want to wait before forgiving someone who has hurt us?
  4. Is there evidence in your life that bitterness has put down roots? What are some reactions that might be expressions of that bitterness? (See Ephesians 4:31.)
  5. Read Matthew 18:21-35. Why does “debt collecting” lead to resentment and bitterness? Can you see ways you are (or have been) a debt collector? What can you expect if you continue to live as a debt collector?
  6. Forgiving a one-time ‘small hurt’ might seem easy, but how should we, as Christians, deal with forgiving someone unable or unwilling to take responsibility, or forgiving recurring offenses? If your repeat offender will not change, then you must. How do you deal with this scenario?
  7. Is it possible to forgive someone and still have negative feelings continue? Does that mean that your forgiveness was insincere? What should you do when struggling with emotions that contradict your choice to forgive?
  8. Is there anyone far away from you relationally because of your actions? Is there anyone who hasn’t forgiven you yet? Whose story are you in as the bad guy or the villain? Are there any steps you can take to help someone forgive you?

Send Out Question

Matthew 5:44 commands us to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Tell God your desire for freedom from the bondage of unforgiveness. Or if you feel at this point that you do not want to forgive your offender, admit your feelings to the Lord. He wants to work a miracle of grace in your life.


Slowly read through Romans 12 and list every command in this passage. Are there any commands that you try to dismiss as impossible to follow because of the painfulness of your own circumstances?


The decision to forgive someone who has hurt you is a big one – but also a freeing one. It can take time and you may have to refocus your attention to forgiveness many times. This week, choose one person in your life that you need to forgive. On a scale from 1 to 10, how angry are you with this person today?


Decide to pray daily for them by writing out your prayer in a journal or on a piece of paper. Slowing down to write out each word and seeing it on paper helps us to really focus on the task at hand. 


Pray for God’s will in this person’s life.


Pray they turn to God for direction.


Pray that they see how much they hurt you.


Pray for sight to see them from God’s perspective.


Pray for a heart that wants to forgive them.


Pray for patience while God works in your heart and in theirs.


Pray that God shows you how to be the loving Christian He called you to be.


At the end of the week, take a few moments to think about a few things:


Was praying for this person difficult? Did it get easier as the week went on? Did you hold back on anything?


Do you feel lighter or more angry? 


On a scale from 1 to 10, how angry are you with this person after a week of praying for them? Will you keep praying for them?